Thursday, May 30, 2013

Pimpin' My Blog

Fo' Real

As May comes to a close, the end of my blog sprint is in sight. No, this doesn't mean that I'm ending the daily posts just yet. But I'm now looking at a finite number of ASAP posts and after that I'll be pulling back my posting rate depending on you guys. Note that I said guys: plural. I'm assuming there's multiple of you by now.

Now, when people say they're pimping something, they usually mean they're upgrading it, adding decoration, or showing off its status. In the case of vehicles, they're usually functionally crippling it to pimp it. This isn't what the Nerdery means when he says it, though, because the Nerdery is an anal grammarian. And because when a pimp is out pimpin' his soiled doves* (that's right, I'm going to 19th century lingo), he isn't upgrading them, showing off their status, or even really improving their decoration. He is concerned with getting them out there doing their thing and bringing back money.

I love my blog, but I am so pimping it.

I've done my part--the blog sprint has provided a huge boost in the amount of content on the blog here--and I'm going to keep doing it for a bit longer. I'm also going to start making more use of Google+ and Facebook to promote my blog in the future, so keep an eye out for that over the next few days or so. And I'm dedicating my Google mail account to traffic from G+ and this blog, so if you want to ask questions of me directly, you can do so at "bensnerdery" on gmail.

Now it's time to put you to work helping me pimp my blog--by spreading the word. Now, I'm not just asking you to do this for free. Oh no, this fancy cat is setting rates. And your response will determine how often this blog gets updated once the sprint is over.

Overall in the past, I've been very bad about updating here regularly, but we've turned a corner on the blog and I'm finally regularly scheduling time to write for this site. When I began the blog, and posted much more regularly, I'd been at a different job and working less than full time. I've been at the new, full-time job for about a year and a half, and even though I've had the time, I haven't been spending it updating the blog.


Now part of that was finding my stride in the new job. This job works on an occasionally hectic schedule that I'm only now starting to understand and anticipate well, so that hurdle is somewhere behind me. There's been a lot of family stuff to do, too, since I moved my family of three into a new home last year, and there's still unpacking, cleaning, painting, and a whole list of chores to do that I'd forgotten about during the previous four years in an apartment.

But a big part of what impairs regular blogging is energy and motivation. C2E2 has been a big boost in that department. Some people get motivated and energized by milestones like New Year's Day, but I get pumped by nerd epiphanies like the awesome weekend I had at C2E2. That has been a tremendously uplifting factor in my domestic grind, and I humbly think I can promise a regularly updated blog.

Without being a liar, I mean. Of course I could promise cheddar castles on the moon, but the fact is old Luna is 100% feta, so that'd make me a liar.

But no, seriously, I am going to promise one post per week. I won't commit to a specific day, as some posts will be more timely on a Monday, and others on a Friday, but I will post at least once per week going forward.

What's that you say? "Once a week isn't very much"? Well, I think so too.

So here's the bargain I'll make just between us: you bring me more readers, give me more feedback, and I'll post your brains out. Well, probably not really, but I will post more often. Because I'm a writers are fickle for feedback and obscure signs of remote affection. And I've got less than 10 followers on this blog. Now I know that I have more regular readers than that, but less than 10 is rubbish. You get your friends to read and follow my blog, though, and I'll up my pledge for weekly posts. How does that grab you, eh?

For every digit of followers I have, I will commit to posting once per week.

That's right. So my once per week promise to post is just the starting bid in this online ante. You do your part--spread the word--and I'll do my part--dropping plenty more words and articles for you to spread around. You bring me your nerd-buds; I'll keep them entertained and informed with obscure opinion pieces. Bring me your nerd-curious; they'll love my introductions to all the weird things you love bending their ear about. You send me geeks; I'll convert them over to true enthusiasm for nerd culture. Bring me your mundanes; I'll put on a gleeful spectacle that will charm them even if only so they can wait for an awkward silence and then yell out NERD at the top of their digital lungs.

For those of you who like to follow simple instructions:

1. Follow the site. Following the blog through the link at the top right of the page is the easiest ego-boosting currency for you to pass on to me. Whenever I look at the metrics of my blog, it's the first thing I check. And it never frakking changes. You should really do something about that.

2. Comment and Share. This step is really important to me, too. Commenting lets me know what my readers like and think of my articles, and it creates a sense of community that supports the growth of a blog's popularity. Probably. I wouldn't know just yet. Sharing is the really important part, though. Every time you share a specific article through Facebook, Twitter, or Google+, I get a notice that it's been shared (ego rising, Godzilla-like, from the churning seas of nine-to-five drudgery), and more importantly, it gets reposted for all your buddies to see, which is likely to result in a little more of #1.

3. Harass your buddies. Nicely now. I want to sleep peacefully over this. But the odds are that you know at least a couple of dorks who would like my diatribes and silly memes, and the odds are really good that they've never heard of this blog before. Like really really really good. Like Thor's-odds-against-Superboy-in-a-prison-fight good. So do what's necessary to get them to read my blog and see what happens.

Put me to the test. 10 or more followers and you'll get bi-weekly updates. 100 will get you three posts per week. A cool kilo of nerds in my pocket, and I'll drop four posts a week. Get me OVER 10,000!!! and I'll give you five posts a week, making this thing a whole other phenomenon.

So there it is. The blog gauntlet has been thrown down. Refer friends, comment on my posts (truly, they help generate more interest and community in a blog than you think), and get me those followers.

Do it. I dare ya.

*for those of you who don't know your cowpoke jargon, 'soiled dove' is an 1800s slang for a prostitute.

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